Travis Kelce has revealed that he and fiancée Taylor Swift have never gotten into an argument during two and a half years of dating.
The Kansas City Chiefs star briefly opened up about his romance with the pop star during the latest episode of his “New Heights” podcast, during which he and co-host Jason Kelce interviewed George Clooney.
Toward the end of the Dec. 3 episode, Travis Kelce started to ask the actor some personal questions in a rapid-fire segment. The NFL player asked George Clooney to confirm he and wife Amal Clooney have never argued in their 11 years of marriage.
The “Jay Kelly” star has previously spoken about their lack of disagreements in multiple interviews, from his December 2020 chat with People to his sit-down earlier this year on CBS Mornings.
“I’m not lying,” George Clooney replied when Travis Kelce asked if he was being truthful.
In turn, the actor playfully added, “Travis, shall we ask you the same question?”
Travis Kelce laughed and said, “Well, it’s only been two and a half years, and you’re right. I haven’t gotten into an argument. Never once.” The NFL player and Swift got engaged in August.
George Clooney went on to explain why arguments do not pop up in his household.
“Neither of us are going to win the argument, so why get in?” he continued. “Dude, I’m 64 years old, and what am I going to argue about at this point?”
He praised his wife, pointing out the human rights activist’s intelligence and beauty, before adding that they agree on and stand for “all the most important things.”
“I can’t believe how lucky I am. So what am I going to fight about?” George Clooney said.
Travis and Jason Kelce said they would listen to the actor’s advice.
But would an expert agree? Dr. Sarah Hensley, founder of The Love Doc, a relationship coaching service, tells TODAY.com in an interview that not arguing in a relationship could be healthy — but not always.
"Conflict in a relationship is normal, but it’s how do you respond inside of that conflict that can either be healthy or unhealthy," she says.
Hensley defines an argument as a situation “where there is a disagreement and two people get dysregulated and so they are not able to speak to each other in a calm and respectful way during that disagreement.”
She says a scenario could involve one person raising their voice and becoming too intense while the other shuts down and withdraws.
“We’re not seeing two people lean in with empathy and engagement with each other,” she explains.
So, she says a relationship in which two people don’t argue could have two different types of dynamic: One that is healthy and one that isn’t.
The unhealthy dynamic is conflict avoidance, she says. “We see this when we have certain insecure attachment styles that pair up together, that are both afraid of conflict. Instead of actually bringing up their needs or bringing up what feels bad to them or what they would like to see changed in the relationship, they just stay silent and shut it down,” she says.
She cautions that this could cause one person to harbor resentment, leading to other problems in the future. If both partners are conflict avoidant, then they are never really working through their issues.
“They’re simply avoiding the hard discussions because they’re afraid of being vulnerable, or maybe they’re afraid of being rejected or that their partner is going to get triggered and have a poor response to their needs,” Hensley adds.
Although there can be a multitude of reasons for being conflict avoidant, the expert says that she sees that type of behavior often with insecurely attached people.
Alternatively, she says two securely attached people could work through disagreements without arguing or becoming emotionally dysregulated. Instead, the two could react with respect and empathy for each other.
"I think the healthiest types of responses are ones in which we can stay calm and respectful, but if we do have some arguing, where people do get a little bit heated, as long as there’s proper repair, the relationship can still stay relatively healthy, and we can still build more trust and safety over time," she says.
As for George Clooney mentioning his age as one of the reasons he doesn’t argue with his wife, Hensley says she has seen that trend in older couples, especially those who have been together for a long time.
“As people age, a lot of times, if they’re very self aware, they will have done the inner work to get to a place where they’re not very argumentative inside of their relationship. That’s different than conflict avoidance,” she says.
If couples are struggling with conflict avoidance, Hensley suggests focusing on nervous system work and somatic processing to become comfortable with their emotions.
“Being able to focus on learning healthy emotional processing will allow you to feel more comfortable with other people’s emotions, and it’s not going to feel like receiving somebody else’s emotions is automatically a criticism or something to be upset or dysregulated about,” she advises.
Hensley emphasizes the importance of being aware of your attachment style and not assuming incompatibility is the reason a relationship fails.
“Working on your attachment and the things that come with insecure attachment, like your comfort with being vulnerable, your ability to process your emotions and your ability to stay objective is really important. But a lot of people just don’t know what they don’t know,” she says.
If a partner’s blueprint is dysfunctional, then their relationships will be negatively impacted.
“Investigate attachment and focus on your own attachment security,” she encourages. “That’s going to be the best way to have a healthy relationship in the future.”
