It wasn't until her junior year of college that Nia Sioux realized she was ready.
Then a student at UCLA, she was in Los Angeles with her mom, Holly Frazier. She remembers looking at her and saying, "I'm ready to write it."
She was referring to her long-planned dream of writing a memoir about her time on the Lifetime reality show "Dance Moms." Nia was just 9 years old in the show's pilot. She and her mom, Holly Frazier, starred in it for seven seasons, from 2011 to 2017.
That dream was actualized with the release of "Bottom of the Pyramid: A Memoir of Persevering, Dancing for Myself, and Starring in My Own Life," which hit shelves Nov. 4.
"I always knew I was going to write a book about my time on 'Dance Moms,'" Nia tells TODAY.com. "But it's ever really been the right time. It never really felt right. I don't even think I was really comfortable talking about everything that happened on the show. I was still processing it."
The book opens with her casting on the show, and each chapter unveils her side of some of the show's controversial moments, often with her dance teacher and the show's star, Abby Lee Miller, at the center of it. She alleges Miller made racist comments directed at her, tried to bribe a mentor to not work with Nia and most recently, refused Nia's request to visit Miller in the hospital to clear the air after she was diagnosed with cancer. (TODAY.com has reached out to Miller for comment.)
Speaking with TODAY.com after the publication of the memoir, Nia confirms she hasn't heard from Miller about the book.
"I don't plan on getting anything either," Nia says. "Yeah, no."
But bringing that to light isn’t why Nia wrote the book. In the memoir, she writes that after her request to meet was declined, she’ll “never reach out to Abby Lee Miller again.” She adds that she “didn’t even want to use her name” in the book.
"After I had a lot of space away from the show, I realized that that woman really does not have power over me. She really can't dictate my life and control things, and for so long, she made it seem like she controlled the world and she controlled my future," Nia says. "I think having that space away from the show and realizing, like, oh my gosh, actually, she doesn't exist in my world. I can do my own thing and be successful ... and she's not going to get in the way of that."
The book seeks to establish Nia as the "star in my life."
Its overarching theme is ironically best described by the title. The bottom of the pyramid, of course, refers to "Dance Moms'" episode's fixture in which Miller would rank each dancer in a tiered pyramid based on their performance at their most recent competition.
Fans of the show may remember that typically Nia was toward the bottom, while the coveted top of the pyramid spot was most often dominated by Maddie Ziegler.
"My dad, at first, was a little concerned. He loved the title, but he also was concerned with it, because I've been trying to kind of shed that title my whole life," Nia says. "So he was like, 'Why would you name your book "Bottom of the Pyramid"? Isn't that kind of putting yourself down?'
"I was like, 'No, it's basically me just reclaiming that title and turning it into a positive,'" she adds.
For example, she writes in the book, as the bottom of the pyramid she served as her team's base, its glue. And "at the bottom, the only place you can go is up."
"I'm not shying away from it. I'm not embarrassed by it. I'm just ready to talk," she tells TODAY.com.
But that doesn't mean it was easy. She says the most difficult part was "trying to tell my story" while "not trying to put other people down."
"Anytime I do bring up the girls and situations, I think that part was the hardest for me to write because I never want to paint them in a bad light," she says. "But it's still my experience, and it's still very valid.
"My relationship with the show was very complicated," she adds. "Although there were times where it was really negative and really challenging, at the same time, it's how I got my start. It's something that is a part of me, and it's something I'm still grateful for, with the good and the bad."
Below, Nia discusses how she approached writing the memoir, how some of her fellow castmates have reacted and why the book feels like "closure" for the "Dance Moms" chapter of her life.
This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.
You said you knew you always wanted to eventually write a book about "Dance Moms." Is there anything that in the process of writing it most surprised you?
The hardest part for me was making sure that I wrote everything in the way that I wanted it to be taken. I think that it's really difficult to talk about these sort of things because I come from a place of, you know, I'm healed. I always lead with love. At the same time, I'm not trying to put people down or badmouth anybody. So, trying to find that delicate balance between sharing my story, but (I'm) still not here to protect people. People have been protected this whole time. It was time for me to share my story. And I think that was the hardest part for me, is being OK sharing my story without being worried about what other people thought.
In the process of writing this, is there anything you learned about yourself? What was your takeaway from the experience?
I always knew that I endured a lot. But I feel like every time I read through the book to make my edits and add things, omit things, every single time something came up. Every single time I think I cried in different moments. It's really healing to see your whole story as something tangible, as a book. Literally reading your whole life — it's very therapeutic. It's basically my diary; it's like my journal. But it's been so healing. And I think that's the thing that I was so surprised about. It did bring up emotions. I was like, you know what, this might be hard for me to write, and there were times that were hard to write, but for the most part, it was just so healing.
Did you watch "Dance Moms" back at all?
I did. Not every single episode, but the parts that I talk about in the book, I watched it back. I remember things a certain way, and I know how things went down, but I also needed to see how they played out on television to see what the world saw. Sometimes it was the same thing that I remembered. ... But there were a lot of things also that I remember that did happen that the show either cut out or they clipped a certain way.
That was kind of weird, because in my head, I'm like, "Oh, I thought people knew this." I thought it played out this way, but actually, they didn't show any of the stuff I actually went through that week. So watching it back, I mean, I did honestly get irritated at times. I'm like, "Oh my goodness, they didn't show any of that." Watching it, what, 14, 13 years later, having that realization is kind of crazy.
Did you watch it when it was airing?
I think I watched the first few episodes of it. When it first came out we had our launch party. ... We watched the first episode when it came on, and I think maybe I probably watched the next couple.
But if I'm being honest, no. One because I don't want to re-live that, I know what happens. But then also, too, I honestly really couldn't. We had no time to even watch anything. The time that the show came out, Tuesdays at 9, we literally had dance. I was at dance while the show was coming out. I would get home and the credits would be rolling. So yeah, even if I wanted to, I couldn't, really.
In the intro, you recall a conversation with Chloe, when you told her you were going to write this book. Did you talk with anyone else from the show about the process? And did Chloe read it before it came out?
Chloe did read it before it came out, but I didn't really talk to anyone else about the book before I announced that I was doing it. Chloe was my main girl for that because I knew that she would one, be understanding, and also I really wanted her to write the forward. And she was so excited about it. It was a very special moment when I asked her. I had her obviously read the book before she committed to writing the forward as well. Because, of course, I wanted her to be comfortable with what she was endorsing. She's been so great during this whole process, and I'm really proud of her. And I also know that she's proud of me, and it's been a very special journey.
How much did you talk to your mom about this process?
My mom, actually both my parents, would read chapters as they were done. Any parts I had done, I would have my parents read it, because I value their opinion a lot. They watched every episode and they were the adults, so they would probably remember more than me at times, and then remind me of things. That really helped, trying to get different points of view, making sure that I don't forget the little things.
Does finishing this book feel like closure with "Dance Moms"?
The book definitely feels like closure. I think before I wrote the book, I had definitely moved on. But I don't know if I really had closure with it because I had never talked about my experience. Not many people actually heard from me when it came to "Dance Moms." So this really was healing. This really was closure. And I also say, this book is also a love letter to my younger self.
Since publishing the book, have you heard from anyone from the show?
Honestly, I feel like there hasn't been a ton from the cast members, reaction-wise. So I don't know whether that's good or bad, but like, I haven't seen too much about that. But I'm grateful for the people that have supported me. Grateful for my mom continuing to support me, grateful for Chloe.
... Having her support means the absolute world because I know that I don't have support from everyone. So it's nice to have somebody, especially Chloe, be so supportive of my story.
How are you deciding what's next, and what's the dream?
Well, my biggest dream is one, to help people. That's what I feel like is my mission, just to help people in any way I can. But also I'm a performer at the end of the day, so storytelling, in any way possible, whether that's through dance, music, acting, theater. Theater was my first love besides dance. So hopefully — well, not hopefully, I am — I'm going to dive back into all of those things.
Now that I'm done with college and now I'm done writing the book and it's released now, I can finally focus on getting back into the swing of things. Before I went to college, I was kind of on a roll, and then I went to college, COVID happened, the actors strike happened. So a lot of things have changed within the past five years. So I'm excited to get back to it. I've been craving getting back to performing, getting back on stage, in any capacity.
